An Atheist Being Confirmed as a Christian

Well, I'm having a dilemma.
You see, I do not believe in God.
I also go to a Christian Catholic school, St. John Vianney. (SJV)
My father believes I am Catholic, and my mother believes that I believe in God, but not Jesus.
My mother takes care of registering me to this school each year, and as long as my dad gives donations to the Church, for he is a Catholic, the tuition for my school is less as long as they believe I myself am a Catholic.
Therefore I have to receive the Eucharist every Wednesday, for that is when my entire school has a Mass together and it is required that we go for it is part of my Religion class, which you have to take no matter if you're a Christian or not.
I'm going into the eighth grade this year, and all Catholic Christians that are part of my school's Church are required to be confirmed.
For those of you who do not know what Confirmation is, it is a sacrament to confirm that you are a believer of God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and everything else Catholics believe in.
I can only go so far pretneding to be Catholic for my family's sake.
My mother said this morning, "When you're eighteen and put of my house, you can have your own opinions."
So I obviously can't tell her I'm an atheist.
If I tell my father I am, he'll stop paying for the amazing education I get at this school, and all the friendships I've made there in the past nine years will be wasted also.
But I cannot get Confirmed, that is going much too far. I refuse to be Confirmed.
So, I can't figure out what to do.

Why do you refuse to be confirmed?
Refusing will cause a fair amount of bother to yourself and put in jeopardy the excellent education/friendships.
Yet going through with this ritual will allow all that to continue.
Therefore logically it is best to go through with it.
Being an atheist in this case is a non-factor. Being a catholic is a non-factor. The pragmatic thing to do is go along with it. You don'ts believe in god so therefore going along with it will make no difference.
Now if you had a spiritual belief that was different to catholicisisisism then i could see your dilemma being a problem, but what you have is a lack of belief. So isnt it better to choose the less painful option with the least hassle. You can deal with those who think you believe at a time later in life when you can deal with is more effectively and are more independent.
Okay, this sounds slightly like a tirade and i am sorry if i appear to be belittling your problem. possibly i dont understand entirely.
I am an atheist. i have gone through religious ceremonies in the past such as the whole blood and wafer thing. It means nothing to me and it means something to other people, so why would i cause the other people distress by rocking the boat.
Oh, the whole integrity thing. Well, I suppose that is a conundrum that must be solved by each persons individual conscience
i guess i haven't been too helpful here *ashamed face*

Have you talked to your priest? I believe you said you were thirteen, and that apparently that is the age for confirmation (that or 14). Have you expressed to your priest any concerns ... not so much in that "Jesus isn't God's son." but that you don't understand how or why it is. Kind of coming off as a 'curious child' ... I know how much teenagers hate to be called children, but in this case you might want to play the part. How many grades does your Catholic school have?

Whats that word ... is it oblivious? Something like that ... how you have heard all these things, but not have understood ... how you know there is a God (you did say you believed in him), but do not know about the Son, or am not able to separate God into three persons. (Do you believe in the Holy spirit?)

I don't know though ... do most kids your age seem to have a sound grasp? I am atheist, and I went through baptism (at your age actually ... look how long I put that off!) Never have been confirmed, its not been done for sometime in the Methodist church where I go (yes I still do ... family)

@FMC:

I cannot talk to my priest, first of all. This place I go to school at has 11 grades, PreK-3 to 8th grade, and it is a church/school. There is a seperate building for the school and another for the church.
Here is the website if you want it: www.sjvs.org
I do not believe in God, and if I say that I do not, both my parents will be alerted of it, because since my father donates $ to the church and it is said that he and I are Catholic, so the cost of my tuition is less.
Therefore, I can question it, but all they'll do is explain it and I will still be confirmed.
Also, I'm 12 and there is no set age to be confirmed as far as I know, but for people in my school registered to the church they have to be confirmed in the eight grade.
Also, I'm guessing that if I told anyone that would inform my parents... Well, apparently my mom doesn't allow me to have my own opinions so...
I guess I will try talking to the priest, but... Currently I don't know how I would be able to do that, but thanks for the suggestion, I'm definitely going to try.

@Thamoz:

Atheists become atheists for different reasons. They can all have different opinions, morals, virtues. While it may make no difference to you receiving sacraments and whatnot, it really does to me.
The reason I can't go through with it is because there is only so much I can do to put on a facade for everyone else's sake, for me this is taking a step too far.
It would be like pretending you love someone for the sake of your mother because she wants you be with someone, but going as far as marrying them.
That's a bit how it feels like for me.
Also, about dealing with those people later in life.
If I'm not confirmed, I will have to deal with them now. Teachers, priests, other people like that, they don't matter to me. But my mother, I can see her now, refusing to believe that I don't believe in God. I can't exactly tell her the true reasons, because many of them have arose from her actions.
My father... I don't see him really ever, my parents being divorced and all, but I feel like he'll disown me or something.
He's a pretty laid-back person but one of those really old-fashioned Christians.
But I don't care as much about his opinion rather than the money he has for my tuition.
Shallow, I know, but I have my reasons.

And everyone's input is valuedto me.
So, you have many good points that I'll take into consideration when I start to contemplate a final decision, but I'm going to wait for other people's input and other factors first too.

As an atheist myself, I understand. What I would do is go through this, even though it will be against your denial of God(s). For the sake of peace, I would keep quiet and lie. Remember this little quote I made up after reading the Odyssey, Heroes lie too.

If you are going to DP, you can then freely express your beliefs.

Ok after reading someone your schools site I have these comments:

It seems your school does not require you to be a Christian, but values ... murder, stealing, helping others, and so forth ...

Statement of Beliefs
1. Each student is a unique child of God.
2. Catholic faith and values are integrated into everyday learning and life
experiences.
3. Pastors, principals, teachers, parents, advisory organizations, and members of the
parish share the responsibility for creating a healthy learning environment.
4. An innovative environment based on mutual respect and academic excellence
challenges students to reach their full potential.
5. A safe and supportive environment fosters successful learning.
6. Accepting cultural diversity contributes towards an appreciation of and respect
for the dignity of others.
3
7. Christian values of social justice and peace are integral parts of a wholesome
learning environment.
8. Ongoing evaluation and improvement of the curriculum are crucial to the
development of a sound educational program.
9. Working in active partnership with parents, who are the primary educators of
their children, is essential for the development of the whole child.
10. Developing the students’ talents promotes creativity and service and enhances
their self respect.

The pastoral approval form doesn't actually say you have to be Catholic, rather that you are attending the parish, and that apparently is your where you get your discount.
Link located here: http://www.sjvs.org/office_news.htm
"Click Here for 2010/2011 "Pastoral Approval Form"

The good news is you have been baptized, that is the only religious document besides the Pastor's letter that you need ... and your mom can probably get that (if you attend there) without you ever getting confirmed.

So if you attend a parish thats all they need to know, they don't ask if you are Catholic.

May I ask why you feel you need to be confirmed to continue going there? You may not even have to talk to your priest/pastor at all.

What is your family like? They seem very strict. If they will be drastic, the best plan of action is to just go along with it, although it would be tough for me to do so if I was in your shoes...

@Marx:
Well, I do plan on trying my hardest to get into a magnet at DP so I can go.

@FMC:
No, no. If you attend the parish, are registered to it, in the registration form you sign yourslef as a Catholic. This is a registration form attainable only in the parish office, though, so you can't find it online.
If you are registered to the Church (which I am) and you attend the school (which I do) it is REQUIRED that in the eigth grade you get confirmed.

So... Hopefully that clears all confusion.
It's a very complicated and extremely small school.

@Angel:

Very. Strict.
Dad... Not as much.
But my mom, who I live with, is very strict.
And I am starting to contemplate the fact that maybe I have to, considering all the pros and cons.

Pros of not getting Confirmed: I can finally tell my parents that I actually don't belive in God. Won't have to be Confirmed.
Cons: Lose education and some friendships. Risk HUGE blow-up from parents.

Of course, my mother will probably refuse to believe me and scream at me for an hour plus her other usual stuff.
So... *sigh*
Though, even if I do get confirmed, I would really like to tell at least my father what my religious beliefs really are.
It would be a lot off my chest, and save me from
having to do it later.


Who knows anymore?
Maybe I'll just have to get over myself.
...

Bah I found the parish registration ... http://www.sjvorlando.org/registration.htm

Is there a way you can delay it though, like telling the priest there is still much you don't understand, or perhaps find hard to believe, and that if you were confirmed now, it would not be a total confirmation of your heart and soul?

Buggers ... I reached out some feelers to get other opinions, will add theirs in as I get them.

Darn...Then consult your dad, because your mom probably wouldn't listen at all, from the way you describe her, lol... I think you really should tell, before getting confirmed. Because if you lose friendships over that, it's unlikely the friendships were of a lasting quality before either way. And it's best not to lie to parents, and keep the burden of a lie on your chest. I hope you get to go to DP, I heard the theatre and art magnet was really fun! However, losing education would suck. :/ Hmm...what are your priorities?

@FMC:

Thanks.
And I did hear of a kid once saying that he didn't think he was ready.
But ge still got confirmed.
I'm not sure if it was solely his choice or not.
SJV Orlando? Never heard of the site. And I go to the school. 0_0 Are you really good with google or searchin or what...?
Thanks for caring so much though, it means a lot to me^^

@Angel:

It would not be best, believe me, if I was completely true with my parents.
Like my mini apocalypse. My friends do know I'm an atheist. None of them have ever had too much of a problem with it, though I have had a a few jabs come my way from some other kids.
And at DP I plan on either doing the medical or CIS (center for international studies) magnet there.
I can't draw, though I dId get pretty big roles in plays this year. But my competition would be scary, some of these kids are so good.
Plus, my priorities go as this: #1: a formal education. #2: stay true to my values and morals. #3: hm. I guess I could put friendships. Not as important to me as the other ones though, well, besides this one other girl.

So... Yeah. 1 and two are almost equally imprtant to me though. Because while I won't get as good of an education at another school most likely, most of my educaion so far has come from independent studies. So that cushions the fall pf the standards.

Well keep your values high and your morals unshakeable. Just endure it for another year, and be positive that your aplication for Medical Academy or CIS is going through, because 8th grade goes fast. If you need any help with the Magnet programs or such here at DP, feel free to ask me.

^^ Thank you!
And really, it goes fast?
At this school I think they try to make it last as long as possible, the eighth grade graduation here is like a highschool one, except MUCH smaller.

Well it did for me. I went to a public school so they had highschool representatives come by a lot.

That's one of the things I don't like about private, especially Christian, schools; they spazzing things up to make it look nicer than it is. "What's in a name?" - Juliet Capulet, William Shaksphere's Romeo and Juliet. Referring back to being a "confirmed Christian", what's in a name. To be honest, this is the first time I've ever heard of this. I don't think anyone after this school would care if you're a "confirmed" Christian (well, maybe except for the baptists, they're a riley bunch from what I've observed). To be short, after this school, you can shed the mask of being a "confirmed Christian".

Late-ish reply, but here an email I sent and the one recieved concerning your confirmation. I t seems though you've already decided but I felt I should do what I meant to do.

Memememe wrote:Hey Whatsurface,

I was brought into a question earlier by someone who roleplays with some of my friends. They are attending St. John Vianney Catholic School, in Orlando. They are twelve years old and atheist. They do not believe in God, Jesus, or any other gods. They will be going into the 8th grade, which is the last grade offered at that school. The questions or rather concerns they brought up had to do with confirmation. I have not yet learned why, but they feel they will have to do confirmation soon, and they are tired of acting like they believe in God, and the confirmation would be too much for them. They seem to get some sort of discount if they are Catholic, now I look at the forms and all they ask is for the Pastor to sign that yes they go to their parish. I do not believe they then have to go to confirmation, but as long as they continue going to the parish they are allowed to go to the school with the discount. I was wondering if you might have any insight or suggestions for this person regarding continuing to go to school ,confirmation, or such.

Any help would be greatly appreciated,
I know this is an odd way to email you but I hope you don't mind.

Reply:

Whatsurface wrote:Sorry for taking so long to answer. I have been working alot lately. No I don't believe they have to be confirmed since you can go to a Catholic church without being confirmed as long as you do not take communion. The student won't have to worry about that even if they must attend mass at the school every now and then.
They just must not ever take communion until they have been confirmed. Hope that helps! I am doing well! How are you doing ?